And now...the answers to your questions!

The first question comes from trollcole at trovecove, who is actually one of my good friends in real life. Her question is: why are your dogs total posers?

Well trollcole, they are posers because they don't want to be their real selves...which is, dogs. They much prefer pretending to be human and I, being the nutjob that I am, take pleasure in treating them like little babies. :)

The second question comes from Benny & Lily. They asked why Lucy isn't in the new Apple Mac commercials?

Sad story, Lucy was going to be in one of the Apple commercials, but we couldn't come to a monetary agreement with the Apple people so we backed out. Lucy's a star. She doesn't settle.

The third question, from Sequoia and Petunia asks what is Lucy's favorite toy?

Basically any toy that she can rip open in less than 30 seconds flat, pull out all the stuffing and then eat. She also loves bottlecaps but my mom likes to play "worst scenario possible" and said she'd choke and die on one so I've since stopped giving her those.

Fourth question from Mica. Does Tank get jealous that he doesn't have his own blog like Lucy?

Simple answer, no. Tank only wants Lucy's things. Example: I have two bones. Exact in everyway. I hand one to both dogs, Lucy takes off with her new bone and Tank has no interest in his bone. It is left on the floor while he tries to go and steal the bone that Lucy has. Say I offer to exchange said bones. I give Lucy the bone I originally tried to give Tank and she smiles and says "thank you ma'am" and I give Tank the one he wanted but now he's lost interest in this bone and will try stealing the same bone he originally refused! So, in summary, Tank loves being on Lucy's blog. If he had his own, he'd just find a way to get back on to her blog.

Thanks to Brutus' mom, Michelle, for answering one of my questions! She let me know that Tank is a possible candidate for Invisalign! I've been thinking though, maybe I should embrace Tank for who he is, accept that he is King of snaggletooths and could probably form some kind of army with all that power.

Q & A's with theplussizepug

Wow. This is terrible! I have only posted once for the whole month of October. This has got to change. While I'm working on putting together new posts, I thought I'd do a little Q&A for anyone that has any nagging questions about Lady Lumps and/or Sir Snaggletooth. Feel free to ask questions like:

Why is Lucy so fat?

What does William Shatner have that Lucy doesn't have?

Is Tank a good candidate for Invisalign?

I will do my best to consult with the pups and post the answers.

Portraits!

Lucy is pretending to hate this but is actually loving every second of it.


















Tank, on the other hand, is completely not interested. The only thing on his mind is where in the house he's going to poop next.

The Scent of a Paw

Lucy's paws smell like corn chips.















I thought she was the chosen one. This gift of frito feet bestowed upon her as some sort of a healing power that would someday be used to help save all of mankind. A google search crushed all hope of what I thought might be true:



















Chips and dip, anyone?

Quite the lazy day

Oh why hello there.

I think I'm just gonna...

take a little nap here...

Oh, but there's your finger.

Can I help you?

Please take that out of my face.

You are making me very uncomfortable!!

How about I lick it?

Are we good now?

Good.

Lucy and the TV

Lucy watches a lot of TV because her mother watches a lot of TV. The bad thing about Lucy watching TV is she gets really emotional about whatever she's watching. There are certain channels that I don't even think about stopping at (Animal Planet being number one). I would never even attempt to watch a dog show because it would just be Lucy whining, barking, and lunging at the TV the whole time. She even has emotional meltdowns over cartoon dogs! She knows the difference between a human cartoon and a dog cartoon, who could be standing on two legs like a human, talking like a human, and she will only bark at the human-like dog. Go figure on that one.

Anyway, it's not just dogs that she dislikes as I mentioned in a previous post (she still hates William Shatner, bells and opera). Here are some more things that upset Lucy whenever they come on screen:

The FreeCreditReport.com guy. Hates. Him.

This dog from the Cesar dog food commercials. I don't know if you guys have seen this commercial, but in the background someone is whistling a catchy little jingle. The TV could be completely off and if I whistle this same tune (which, by the way, you should hear me whistle sometime. I'm fantastic.) Lucy will flip out and charge the TV.

Spongebob. No explanation needed.

Sweet Dreams Interrupted

First off, let me just start by saying how I really wish I had gotten this photo in focus.

This is what it looks like when you awaken Her Royal Highness out of her beauty sleep.

The Tail

It wags whenever she sees me. It flies at half mast when she's running full speed. And it flattens out when she's relaxed. Sometimes it can even resemble a soft serving of ice cream.

One thing's for sure, it couldn't be more perfect.

Who's the boss?

Lucy, clearly.

It's 3 am. Lucy hears a noise that is completely inaudible to any other creature on the planet but decides to bark about it, jolting me out of my beauty sleep. She barked, yet continues to lie there in bed and looks over at Tank, as if to say, "you go check to see what that noise was. I'll be right here." And Tank does. He leaps off the bed and starts barking as if it were him that had heard that noise and now he is going to do something about it. And Lucy? She lays her head back down and drifts right back to sleep.
























Who really was the boss? Tony or Angela? I had a hard time figuring out which head to put Lucy's face on. I'm having second thoughts, I think it might have been Angela.

How Some Sundays Are Spent

Dramatic Pug

So I think I have watched this clip about 50 times. It's only 5 seconds, but watching this is one of the best ways to spend 5 seconds of your time.

When a Coach bag simply won't do

Get a pug purse! You'll be the envy of everyone.

The backside is my favorite:

It's even got a shifty eye, where it will follow you no matter where you are in a room, just like Lucy:

Family Portrait:

Twins! Plus or minus a few pounds:

Lucy, in all her majesty

things lucy dislikes

bells:

opera:

william shatner:

it's not halloween

But I wanted to share this photo anyway. Doesn't Lucy look thrilled?

Tagged

Lilo, over at thegreatrockeater.blogspot.com likes the blog name and gave me a shout out on her own blog. Thanks Lilo, I think you're pretty adorable. :) I'm supposed to grab a picture that I haven't posted before and tell its story so here goes.

I have many nicknames for my little puggily wuggily. The great thing about Lucy is that she is like so many different animals in one. So I took to a little photoshopping and put her face on some animals that I think she most resembles.

The first? A little piggy, of course!

And the second, a sweet little bunny rabbit:

Girls Gone Wild

Clicking on the picture will take you to the NSFW (not safe for work) version.

Believe it or not, Lucy has never been pregnant or had babies. I think this is just like how some men have man boobs. From now on we'll just call her "Moobs".

Chapel of Love

A woman has married her pug. Her reasoning?

"For so long I've been praying for a life with a partner who has all the qualities of my dad. My dad was kind, faithful and loyal to my mum, and he never let her down."

I think we can all figure out why she wasn't able to find a human companion to marry. I just want to know the wedding details.

Was it a black tie event? Was the groom wearing Georgio Armani? Did he cry (whimper) when he saw her walk down the aisle? What was his bridal gift to his blushing bride? Who was their photographer and where are the pictures?

Click here for the full story.

Tiny Teeth Gray Beard

It's a term of endearment. She has the tiniest of teeth and the grayest of beards. Wouldn't Tiny Teeth and the Gray Beards make the best band name?

You guys are never going to believe this, I got Tiny Teeth and the Gray Beards to play at our wedding!

Thick

Trying to find a collar that fits my little lady can be difficult. I either buy them too small or in a size that would fit a mastiff, but always think I have found the one that will fit.

To take the guesswork out of it I measured her neck. 17 inches. 17 inches! Do you know what else measures 17 inches?

This cantaloupe:

This guys biceps: