It's All About Comfort

He never ceases to amuse me.

If the Shoe Fits

Bangers and Mash

I'm wondering... am I the only person that talks to their dogs with an english accent?

It started off normal enough (ello, loves) and now it's kind of progressed into a full blown Sharon Osbourne kind of accent.

To be honest, I think the dogs kind of like it (and I like it). The only downside is that sometimes when I have company over, I forget that I talk to the dogs in an english accent and that can lead to some awkward moments...



And yes, my impression of Sharon Osbourne is just as good as Amy Pohler's in this clip. ;)

Excuse me...may I have a moment of your time?

This is the first thing that I noticed as I stepped out of the shower the other morning.




















This shot was taken immediately after I opened the door:



















You simply mustn't ever shower with the door closed...

While We're Still on the Subject of Cool iPhone Apps

Here's a picture that my mom took with my iPhone yesterday with the Hipstamatic app. I like the old school feel it gives to the picture.

Mug

Trying to capture extreme snaggletooth but realized that the photo does it no justice.

Too Cool for School

It's been awhile...

I will have many new posts very soon, but here are a couple pictures to tide you over until then.

Beware of falling objects

I don't eat at the dinner table like a normal person. No, I like to stand and eat in my kitchen. My brother does this too. We're strange folk.

Anyway, tonight as I was standing and eating a burrito that was basically 90% sour cream - 10% beans, it exploded as I took my last bites! Someone needs a bath.

I'm trying out this new scent, L'eau de sour cream, ever heard of it?

Some people like to eat food, I prefer to wear it.

Day 4 of 14

I took 2 weeks off for the holidays. Besides working out, this is pretty much what my days have consisted of.

Top of the morning to ya

Warning: This post is about vomit, so if the talk of vomit makes you want to vomit, you might want to skip this one.

Well, it's yet another morning where I've been woken up to the harmonious sound of dog hurl. Tank's hours of puking are between sound asleep and sweet dreams. Never has he so much as gagged during normal business hours. I've woken up to being puked on (I'll take a warm pile of vomit for $100, Alex), puking off the side of the bed (Avalanche!), to just regular old heaving on the floor. Personally, I like it when Tank gets creative with where he is going to projectile. For some reason when Tank started up this morning I started singing that song from Beverly Hills Cop, "The Heat is On" but I just replaced "heat" with "puke."

The puke is on...it's on the streets.

Inside your head, on every beat.

Oh-wo-ho, oh-wo-ho.

Fun with photobooth!

Why am I single??











































Oh, right.

And now...the answers to your questions!

The first question comes from trollcole at trovecove, who is actually one of my good friends in real life. Her question is: why are your dogs total posers?

Well trollcole, they are posers because they don't want to be their real selves...which is, dogs. They much prefer pretending to be human and I, being the nutjob that I am, take pleasure in treating them like little babies. :)

The second question comes from Benny & Lily. They asked why Lucy isn't in the new Apple Mac commercials?

Sad story, Lucy was going to be in one of the Apple commercials, but we couldn't come to a monetary agreement with the Apple people so we backed out. Lucy's a star. She doesn't settle.

The third question, from Sequoia and Petunia asks what is Lucy's favorite toy?

Basically any toy that she can rip open in less than 30 seconds flat, pull out all the stuffing and then eat. She also loves bottlecaps but my mom likes to play "worst scenario possible" and said she'd choke and die on one so I've since stopped giving her those.

Fourth question from Mica. Does Tank get jealous that he doesn't have his own blog like Lucy?

Simple answer, no. Tank only wants Lucy's things. Example: I have two bones. Exact in everyway. I hand one to both dogs, Lucy takes off with her new bone and Tank has no interest in his bone. It is left on the floor while he tries to go and steal the bone that Lucy has. Say I offer to exchange said bones. I give Lucy the bone I originally tried to give Tank and she smiles and says "thank you ma'am" and I give Tank the one he wanted but now he's lost interest in this bone and will try stealing the same bone he originally refused! So, in summary, Tank loves being on Lucy's blog. If he had his own, he'd just find a way to get back on to her blog.

Thanks to Brutus' mom, Michelle, for answering one of my questions! She let me know that Tank is a possible candidate for Invisalign! I've been thinking though, maybe I should embrace Tank for who he is, accept that he is King of snaggletooths and could probably form some kind of army with all that power.

Q & A's with theplussizepug

Wow. This is terrible! I have only posted once for the whole month of October. This has got to change. While I'm working on putting together new posts, I thought I'd do a little Q&A for anyone that has any nagging questions about Lady Lumps and/or Sir Snaggletooth. Feel free to ask questions like:

Why is Lucy so fat?

What does William Shatner have that Lucy doesn't have?

Is Tank a good candidate for Invisalign?

I will do my best to consult with the pups and post the answers.

Portraits!

Lucy is pretending to hate this but is actually loving every second of it.


















Tank, on the other hand, is completely not interested. The only thing on his mind is where in the house he's going to poop next.

The Scent of a Paw

Lucy's paws smell like corn chips.















I thought she was the chosen one. This gift of frito feet bestowed upon her as some sort of a healing power that would someday be used to help save all of mankind. A google search crushed all hope of what I thought might be true:



















Chips and dip, anyone?

Lullaby...and goodnight...

Mr. Tank enjoying my king size bed all to himself:

Quite the lazy day

Oh why hello there.

I think I'm just gonna...

take a little nap here...

Oh, but there's your finger.

Can I help you?

Please take that out of my face.

You are making me very uncomfortable!!

How about I lick it?

Are we good now?

Good.

Lucy and the TV

Lucy watches a lot of TV because her mother watches a lot of TV. The bad thing about Lucy watching TV is she gets really emotional about whatever she's watching. There are certain channels that I don't even think about stopping at (Animal Planet being number one). I would never even attempt to watch a dog show because it would just be Lucy whining, barking, and lunging at the TV the whole time. She even has emotional meltdowns over cartoon dogs! She knows the difference between a human cartoon and a dog cartoon, who could be standing on two legs like a human, talking like a human, and she will only bark at the human-like dog. Go figure on that one.

Anyway, it's not just dogs that she dislikes as I mentioned in a previous post (she still hates William Shatner, bells and opera). Here are some more things that upset Lucy whenever they come on screen:

The FreeCreditReport.com guy. Hates. Him.

This dog from the Cesar dog food commercials. I don't know if you guys have seen this commercial, but in the background someone is whistling a catchy little jingle. The TV could be completely off and if I whistle this same tune (which, by the way, you should hear me whistle sometime. I'm fantastic.) Lucy will flip out and charge the TV.

Spongebob. No explanation needed.

Pillow Casualties

I came home to this tragic scene today:

This is what happens when I don't put the pillows away.

Pillows I used to have? Five. Pillows remaining? Zero.

I have my guess as to who started this mess. Who do you think did it?